She said too many women have bought into the notion they need to "bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never let their man forget he's their man," to paraphrase the song used in the 1980s commercial for Enjoli, "the 8-hour perfume."
"There are times I ruminate on why I'm not the kind of mom that can stay home and make homemade hummus with organically grown crinkle cut cucumbers, then I stop thinking about that because there is laundry to be done, hugs to give, dinner to cook, homework to check and inevitably something to pull out of the dog's mouth," she wrote.
"Homemade hummus or not, the boys know they can always count on me and their dad, and their extended family, and that is my version of 'having it all.'"
'It is hardly ever perfect'
"I used to be ashamed of the number of before- and after-care providers I employed," wrote Rebecca Giannelli, a mother of three and a registration coordinator for a large physician group in Illinois. Her husband has a job in the local public works department.
They have three children, ages 2, 4 and 9. The traditional male and female roles are "out the window" in her house, she said. Her husband picks up the kids in the afternoon, gives them a snack, cleans up, starts the laundry and gets dinner going. They share homework and bath time. She schedules medical appointments, pays the bills and organizes the birthday parties.
Though it often feels like they're getting through the day "by the skin of our teeth," she said she looks to her children for guidance.
"They are brave and resilient and go with the flow," she wrote. "You will not find a high maintenance child at my address. Food? Check. Semi-dry clothes? Check. A brother or sister to play with or annoy? They are happy."
'I choose sanity'
Web developer Janice Gervais wasn't expecting to actually want to stay home with her two daughters.
But that's not an option. The family needs her steady paycheck and the health insurance that comes with it. The kids are in day care most of the week.
At work, she said, "leaning in" to bigger opportunities -- as Facebook's Sandberg advises women -- doesn't feel realistic, either.
"I just don't have the mental ability to put in 10 hours of work a day and additional work on the weekends, which seems to be the unspoken requirement ... in order to receive promotions in a typical work environment, and then coming home and cook dinner, clean up, and give my children my 100 percent attention."
She said she gets through each day by "choosing sanity" and not comparing herself to other families.
"My house is a war zone and guests know to call before they come over. Pursuing a higher career is on hold so the spare time I do get is spent with my kids. Their clothes are stained, their hair is a mess, their outfits don't match, but my sanity is still mostly intact. I just feel fortunate that I have the things I have, because so many others have far less."
'Stop second guessing'
Jennifer Reilly left a job as a senior executive with the New York Yankees to spend more time with her family. It was her dream job, but she was often gone from 8 a.m. to 10:30 p.m., working seven days a week. Her children were in seventh and 10th grades at the time.
Her lawyer husband had scaled back his practice to be at home for the kids after school. When she left the Yankees, they swapped; she started her own consulting business, he went back to a law firm. She plans to return to a more demanding job when her youngest leaves for college in a couple of years.
"The biggest mistake women make -- those that choose to stay at home and those that work and have others help with their kids -- is they think too much! Stop second guessing and move on with the decision you have made. ... I have dear friends that are literally running the world, and others that have been home for 20 plus years -- thank goodness you had the choices you had!"